Today…

Today is not my enemy… Today is a day to make myself better, to build relationships, to be honest, to make the most of life. In recovery, I sometimes take a position of defensiveness about getting through each day.  A fighting stance about what lies ahead. But Today, I will embrace life.  I will enjoy…

Label if you will…

In recovery, recovering, alcoholic, drunk, outcast, liar, self seeker… The labels that come along with struggles of addiction and abuse are many.  The are easily cast and applied, and sometimes hard to remove. How I see it, is a label is something that is given to you based on another perspective.  An assumption, a wide…

Feeling Lucky?

For us drunks, or at least for me, St. Patrick ’s Day was such an important celebration!  Finally a day where everyone else drank like me.  I didn’t have to hide how I drank because everyone else drank like me today!  Starting as early as possible, drinking in excess, and the behavior was appreciated, even…

Building My Wall…

Over and over, I’ve heard in meetings, your addiction is waiting, getting stronger, ready to take over at any minute. Part of me agrees, I know I can’t let my guard down, I can’t think that I can go back to my old ways, because I can easily fall back to where I was. But…

Tangled

A recent AA grapevine story and topic at a meeting, involved the tale of a dog who’s leash got tangled In the bushes. To summarize, a dog is tied to a leash in a yard, he enters the bushes, he leash becomes tangled around a bush.  As the dogs leash became more and more tangled,…

There Comes A Time…

It is my perspective… that, for anyone overcoming a significant challenge in there life, there must be a time of realization that who they want to become is not dependent on who they were.  Maybe similar to the old adage that ‘if you want something different, something must change.’  We all know the definition of…

My Boulder on the Hill

For me, my battle with alcohol, dependency, addiction has been an up and down battle.  Filled with struggle, disappointment, serenity, strength and learning.  For years I have tried to understand, I’ve focused, failed and persevered. Just recently, I realized and related my struggles to a simple analogy… My addiction is ‘My Boulder on the Hill’…….

Is Denial more than just a river in Africa?

To share some recent thoughts than I’m having, I am struggling with understanding what is driving them. Am I an alcoholic, yes, undoubtedly…  But, am I struggling with not drinking.  Not really, at least I don’t think so. Then the thought creeps in.  Could I drink again?  Well of course I could…  Would it help…

Are There ‘Such Unfortunates’?

In hundreds of meetings every day, How it Works is read.  It is a straightforward explanation of the program, it’s inner workings and the 12 steps.  Yesterday after a meeting we had an interesting conversation about the ‘unfortunates’ who will not recover, the specific reference is (from the Big Book): Those who do not recover…

To the Newcomer

To the ‘First Timer’ I could tell when you walked in you were nervous. Your ‘newness’ was even more apparent when you asked where the coffee was. Maybe you are just new to this particular meeting? But as you sat there, I could see your hands shaking; I could feel the anxiety pouring out of…

A ‘Utopia’ Awaits

Often, I like to go back to the Big Book, especially the early chapters and look at the passages that I had noted when I first read through.  Early in sobriety, we are still somewhat of a mess, but a great hope resides within.  We look for any bit of hope that exists far away…

Step 1 -Acknowledgement

They say that ever journey begins with a single step. The same is true in the journey of recovery. Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. There is specific reason and numerous discussions around why the first step is the first step, I think it’s rather…