When Simplicity in Sobriety is Not So Simple..

One thing I’ve been focusing on in recovery and part of the inspiration for the name of this blog, is to keep things simple. However, I’ve been noticing this simple mindset is anything but.

It’s a result of the insanity of this disease and the selfishness that’s driven me so deep, but I’ve always been an overthinker, manipulator of facts and consistently looking for loopholes that would help me discover the ‘easy way out’.

Often the fleeting thoughts of ‘it’s not that bad’ or ‘look how well I’m doing’ cross my mind. Is this my disease lying to me? Is this my selfishness rearing it ugly head?

I constantly walk the line between confidence in my progress vs vulnerability to return to wear I was.  Should I push my chest out? Should I keep looking over my shoulder?

The constant questions rush through my head. Am I going to enough meetings? Should I be working my steps faster? Do I call my sponsor enough? If I have a dream about drinking is that bad?

Part of the power of connection with other people in recovery is that you can ask these questions, bounce ideas off each other and that gives me peace.

But if I boil it down, I can say this. I’ve been blessed to put a stretch of sober days together. I plan to be sober today. And I’m in a way better spot than I was yesterday! And that’s simply amazing!

So, I’m not going to overthink it, I’m gonna just enjoy and keep moving forward!

-M

 

Advertisements

One Comment Add yours

  1. NoWineImFine says:

    Oh so true – it’s anything but simple! Love your writing, looking forward to reading more about how we can keep being successful with this hideous monster, alcohol.
    Much love and sober support,
    NOwineImFINE
    New Zealand

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s