There Comes A Time…

It is my perspective… that, for anyone overcoming a significant challenge in there life, there must be a time of realization that who they want to become is not dependent on who they were.  Maybe similar to the old adage that ‘if you want something different, something must change.’  We all know the definition of insanity.

The use of ‘realization’ is also, important.  It’s not a decision, and it’s definitely not a singular decision.  For me, it was the culmination of a LOT of decisions, very small decisions, big decisions, probably thousands of them.  But, the realization of this change can be singular, and can be significant.

For me, my challenge was alcohol, and my point of realization, was Thursday, March 2nd.

On February 23rd, through the grace of God, the support of those around me, both in and out of AA, and a lot of personal fortitude, I was able to achieve 1 year of continuous sobriety.  Who would have thought that a ‘drunk like me’ would have gone and entire year without a drink.  I am blessed and will never take that for granted.

But my storied history and struggles with drinking point to one undeniable truth.  For so long, I didn’t want to change.  I wanted my problems to go away, but I didn’t want to put in the work, I didn’t want to stop drinking.  In hindsight, its incredible to look back at how crazy (*insert ‘insane) it was for me to struggle through arrests, DUIs, treatment, fraying relationships and never have the courage to point a finger at my alcohol misuse and identify the culprit.

So, with the ‘encouragement’ from those around me, I started down a path of recovery.  It wasn’t easy, far from it.  I struggled, I screwed up, I let people down, but I continued.  And through learning, listening, and many small decisions it started to come together.

And then, it hit me…  My Time Came…  Who I was then, is not who I am now, and not who I am destined to be.  It’s freeing, it’s feels good, it’s motivating.

But also, it doesn’t me the challenges are over.  There will tough days, there will be easy days.  There will be forks in the road.  But I know know that I will NEVER go back to who I used to be…. never!

– M

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