As I worked through my acceptance of my ‘condition’ and declaration of my status as an alcoholic, I noticed that I was continually trying to figure out ‘why?’! Whether you consider alcoholism a disease, allergy of the mind, or a result of bad decisions made, I have a feeling that a number of us struggle to understand the condition of the the condition we are in.
I think that is a normal human reaction. We want to understand why things are. Why is the sky blue, why do we fall in love, why do good lives end too soon, and why can I never find my keys when I need them the most?
Eventually, I found myself saying to myself, does it really matter why? The reality of the situation was that I had put myself in a very dark place, and my life was crumbling around me. It didn’t really matter why I was in this situation, it did matter that I needed to change, and quick. Yes, I realize that there needs to be some understanding of things that happened along the way that continued my spiral down, but I was able to declare, ‘I was alcoholic and my life had become unmanageable.’
So where do we turn when we don’t understand? The answer is to rely on our Faith.
We turn to step 2, finding that ‘a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.’ I’m reminded of watching a movie this holiday season with my son, titled ‘The Santa Clause’, there is a point in the film where the young boy is asked about his belief in Santa, and he replies to is psychologist step father: ‘Have you ever seen a million dollars? You don’t have to see something to know that it exists.‘ How insightful for such a young child. And although referring to a pudgy, unshaven elf who cobbles toys, the same could be said about your higher power.
How comforting it is to know that there is a higher power (God, as I define him) that has our best interest at heart. He wants to see us thrive, embrace life, and overcome the obstacles that have been laid out in our path. A power, that beyond all of our character defects, by his grace, will give us the strength to make this life great again!
Today, I urge you, not to ask why, but ask how…. How can I move forward in my recovery and do the next best thing!